As of today I have attended about three doctor’s offices in the last two weeks…. Not that I’m complaining I made the appointments and actually do like my doctors. It just amazes me that when something falls apart… it all seems to fall at the same time. The coincidences of life and the way things happen really can make you wonder what the heck did I just do?!
The conversation with my last Dr. was, to say the least, interesting. I wanted to do one of those V8 moments. You know where you hit em’ on the forehead in a duh uh moment. After listing out and giving him my problems he states to me, very calmly, “Mrs. Marvin, I believe we’re dealing with depression, anxiety and just an overall stressful situation”. Enter here the knock on the head for the V8 moment. I’m sure the look on my face was well not sh**! Anyway, we proceeded to go through a list of medications that could ultimately help with the overall anxiety and maybe help calm things down a little. With each drug listed there were side affects. Now I know you’ve seen the commercials. You know with the calming voice over all these happy people dancing around and living life, well in a commercial, telling you how great this is but then this extremely long list of side affects that could be mild and should be taken into consideration.
At this point I’m wondering if I should just jump off the bridge. Because at this point I’m bad but if my condition is exacerbated by these drugs I’m gonna jump off the bridge anyway….
After we choose one along with another to help sudden bursts of panic attacks, I’m given the instructions on how to take and what to look for. I now feel like I should be strapped to my chair and monitored by one of those babysitter bears. It could be broadcasted over the internet so my friends can check on me through out the day.
I leave the Dr’s office now with Rx’s in hand, material to read and my mind racing harder than it was before. I begin to realize how powerful the human mind really is. Now my tone here is sarcastic and my humor is dry (that’s Scott DuMars in me) but do know that depression and the issues surrounding the mind should never be taken lightly and when you know you are at that point of needing help, it takes courage to step forward. This should be admired and not mocked. After all we are all only human, full of mistakes and errors. Like a computer, sometimes someone else rebooting and recharging us with new ideas and points of view are all that we may need.
I will state here I know how lucky I am. I know how much I am loved and how much support I do have. Support from parents, friends and even grandparents. Through the love of a daughter a love that will never amount to anything anyone could ever try to give me.
A co worker of my husband had an aunt who killed her self over the weekend. It was sort of close to home. This jolted the entire being of everyone who knew her. Now of course there are opinions from everyone and of course comments from all sorts of feelings on this matter. My husband even made a comment that made me stand back a little and look him over again. I can tell you too the funeral of a suicide is not anything like another. Not that any are pleasant, these just seem different, and people seem so distant and more wondering of what ifs.
Just take this from whatever happens in your day. Pain is always inevitable suffering is not. Release your negative and work to move forward. Always greet everyone with a smile for you never know what it might help them see. You cannot control everything and what you can make sure you control for yourself. And never strive for anything but to be happy.
“Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I Love You! Go to work, do your best, don't artoutsm your common since Never let your prayin knees get lazy And love like crazy” – Lee Brice
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